Ben B. Bainton, BA

As of yesterday I'm officially a Bachelor of Arts, graduating from the University of Helsinki, with English Philology as my major subject. Only took me nine bloody years, three times the official target time of three years. In my defense, I've already completed a fair share of the studies for the Master's degree (but I've still been a lazy student, that's for sure).

The BA is really just a formality on the way to the Master's. When I started at university, the norm here (at least in the humanities) was to go straight for the MA degree, and there was little talk of the BA. However, a couple years back they changed the rules and made the BA a compulsory prerequisite for the MA. So, here we are, and it is nice to finally have something to show for the years I've spent at the university. Now, if everything goes to plan, and I can force myself to do some actual work, this time next year I could be graduating with the Master of Arts degree, all ready for unemployment...

Oh But I Was So Much Older Then

Building on the theme of the previous post, a little more about me and music. It's interesting to look at how my taste in music has developed over the years.

As a child I started out mostly listening to music from the 50's and early 60's, Elvis, Chuck Berry, The Beatles' earlier works... In my teens I proceeded to late 60's psychedelics, particularly The Beatles' later works and The Byrds. In my later teens I discovered a few artists from other decades that carried on the feel of the 60's in some way: Tom Petty, Tracy Chapman, Dire Straits... Of course there were also later recordings from artists who begun their careers in the 60's.

The first major change came at the very end of my teen years when I discovered anime and japanese video games. Video game music became a defining feature of my listening habits in my early 20's, though all the all favourites still remained strong. I also discovered demoscene music through getting acquainted with tracker software, originally from a desire to create music similar to my video game favourites. Also in my early 20's I got very interested in progressive rock, particularly Jethro Tull and Gentle Giant. It could be said that my main musical interest proceeded from the 60's to the 70's.

Now, in my later 20's, I've witnessed my musical interests becoming ever wider and wider. While at some point I might have described my taste as mostly 60's and 70's rock music, I'd have to describe it as rather eclectic these days. Particularly interesting has been the addition of more modern genres that I had very little interest in, even an aversion to, previously, namely various forms of electronica and heavy metal.

My taste for both probably mostly grew out of my taste for video game music, as well as other soundtrack records (and maybe demoscene music as well). I discovered these kinds of music worked very well in certain contexts, and gradually certain artists begun to appeal to me outside of specific contexts as well. I should put emphasis on 'certain artists'. I don't really listen to any genre for the genre's sake. Each artist has it's own, special appeal, and in most cases I'm not particularly interested in the majority that a genre has to offer.

It's almost like I'm growing younger, beginning with a taste for the oldies and progressing gradually to more current music... In any case, it has been an interesting journey, and has resulted in a wonderfully varied (but still rather picky) taste in music.

Concerning Blacksmiths and Metal

Generally speaking, there are very few examples of Finnish music and cinema that appeal to me. There are probably many reasons for this. One is that, having an English father, I was exposed to a large variety of English (and American) music, literature and cinema from a young age. English is the language of music for me. It's not that I disrespect music sung in Finnish, it's just never been a part of my life, so it sounds wrong to me.

Another reason, which applies particularly to cinema, lies simply in my nature, the type of story and aesthetic that appeals to me. This isn't, at least in whole, a result of my heritage; I'm sure a lot of Finnish people, especially of younger generations, share similar tastes. I've always been mainly attracted to fantasy and science fiction, epic stories often of a highly visual nature, and we simply don't have the resources to make that kind of movies in this small country.

And this is obviously the part where we come to the exceptions to the rule. I just watched Jade Warrior for the second time, and I still think it is a brilliant movie, both in story and visual aesthetic, and not only in comparison to other Finnish movies. I also thoroughly enjoyed the Lordi movie Dark Floors, but of course that has so few specifically Finnish elements that I'm not sure it even counts as an example.

The story of my taste for Finnish music, on the other hand, is inseparably entangled with another story, the story of discovering metal music. I grew up listening mostly to 60's music, and others who carried on the tradition (like Tom Petty, whom I discovered through other artists who begun their career in the 60's). While I greatly enjoyed some harder rock, such as the Rolling Stones, and later Queen and AC/DC, I steered clear of metal music for a long time.

In the late 90's I discovered Japanese video games and through them the world of video game music. This also opened the door for electronic music in general. Then came The Black Mages, an album of music from the Final Fantasy games re-arranged as metal. It was a great album and together with the later Black Mages albums remains among my favourites. I came to the conclusion, that musically some forms of metal music had a great appeal for me. However, most of the non-game metal I heard was ruined by unappealing, even annoying singers, and an overall attitude that tended to be so over-the-top in its supposed darkness and wickedness that it ended up being ridiculous, and not in a good way. No offence to you metal afficionados out there, that's just how my taste is.

Fast forward to 2006. Our own Lordi won the Eurovision Song Contest. I found their tongue-in-cheek humour and horror movie themes to be appealing in a way that the majority of heavier rock artists I'd heard had never been. It took a year or two to really get into it, but these days I'm a big fan.

Now, I recently saw a hilarious YouTube clip of misheard lyrics to Wishmaster by Nightwish. I happened to be in a mood for some suitably atmospheric heavier music, so I figured it was about time to get better acquainted with this domestic giant. And I discovered I enjoyed it greatly. Musically Nightwish is just the kind of metal I seem to enjoy, epic, often fast paced, yet atmospheric and emotional symphonic/power metal, not unlike The Black Mages and other Japanese video game music. The frequent fantasy themes are also right up my alley (although I must admit I haven't had a chance to really pay attention to much of the lyrical content yet).

It's curious that, video game music aside, the two examples of heavier music I've most enjoyed thus far are both Finnish. And just as curious that pretty much the only examples of Finnish music I enjoy represent the heavier side of rock.

To end this longish post, I should perhaps make the clarification that the fact that I've lately been painting my nails black does not stem from heavy metal or goth style, but rather from glam style and artists like The Ark.

The Lost Week and a Half

Conscription.

Isn't it a lovely word? Um, well, no, I'm sure most people would agree that it isn't. It's a relic of a different world which should be obsolete. But we've still got it here in Finland. Every able-bodied male must serve in the military. Granted, we have it better than many other places that still practice conscription. The standard service time for most people is currently only six months. But it's still military service, and to many of us the very idea is impossible.

Which is why there's a pacifist alternative, known as civilian service. This involves regular work (without pay, of course, apart from living expenses and food), in non-profit governmental bodies, institutions or other organisations. The total time is currently twelve months. Which, obviously, is much longer than regular armed service. It can be argued that men in civilian service have a regular 40 hour work week and live in their own homes, unlike men in the army, but it doesn't change the fact that a whole year is taken from you, tied to a job that you're very likely not interested in, and not even receiving proper pay for. The third option is prison.

Ok, back to my own case. Civilian service was an obvious choice (if you can call any choice of submitting to what in my view is almost legal slavery obvious). I kept applying for extensions because of my continuing studies. You can only do that until you're 28, however, and I was ordered to begin my service on January 12, 2009.

In my early 20's, it probably wouldn't have been a problem. But right now, the thought of losing a year, labouring in a job I couldn't care less about (even if it was beneficial to the community), was, to put it bluntly, impossible, and frankly quite distressing. I was already having problems with motivation in my studies, and other aspects of my life seemed stuck as well (creative projects and the like, things I'd really like to do but somehow just can't get started). I feared the year of forced labour would drain whatever mental energy I had left and leave me empty and stuck, no life of my own.

The service begins with a month's training camp at Lapinjärvi, in southern Finland. Which isn't too bad in itself, a few lectures each day and a crowd of like-minded people. A week and a half in I had a medical examination, as all men coming into service do. I shared my fears with the nurse, who sent me on to see the doctor.

The doctor relieved me from service due to anxiety.

This isn't at all rare. Two others left for home on the same bus that evening, and there must be plenty of others. I'm sure they can't afford to take the chance that someone really breaks down during service, so any signs of distress are taken seriously. My age was obviously a factor, a younger man would only have got a temporary reprieve, at best. The fact that I hadn't been able to find a suitable service place yet also played in my favour. (Men in civilian service are responsible for finding their own workplace, but there's no abundance of places available, at least if you want a place that's even remotely interesting and in line with your own skills and education.)

Of course there's no pride in 'dodging the draft' in this manner. It's an admission of one's own weakness. But if strength means allowing yourself to be torn from your life into a world you have no interest in and which drains you dry, I want no part of it. I salute those that defy this flawed system in its entirety and go to jail for their beliefs. That is true strength. The thought had crossed my mind on several occasions, but I'm just not an activist by nature, rather looking for the easy way out.

Now I'm still in a state of disbelief. I'm a free man. Life has not been disrupted after all. I can continue my studies. With any luck I could even graduate this year. And if I could only get some of my more personal projects under way, writing etc... But right now I can only thank the gods and be grateful for the chance I've been given.

A Typically Boring Friday Night Post

Friday night. Ten thirty pm. And I'm sitting in front of this wretched machine, wondering what to do with myself. So just to make sure I won't accomplish anything tonight I'll be writing a pointless blog post.

I've acquired a slight cold somewhere along the way. What joy. Not much, but just enough to not let me really focus on anything worthwhile for the last couple of days. Like schoolwork, which is building up at a frightening pace.

I've been re-reading Rumiko Takahashi's Maison Ikkoku. It's one of the few comics I love that have nothing to do with fantasy or science fiction. The characters are just so endearing. And it's hilarious as well, of course. Alas, I lack a few volumes, and the edition they're selling now is different than the old ones I have, with chapters divided up differently between volumes. If I just lacked volumes from the end it wouldn't perhaps be a huge deal, but the ones I lack are from the beginning and middle, which makes it rather inconvenient. Of course I don't have the money for it either, so the question is mostly academic.

Nothing much more to add. It has been a very boring week. Which is mostly my own fault, of course.

Glamming Up

What's the world coming to? Grown men experimenting with nail polish?

I've always found glam appealing. I love 70's rock music, after all. T.Rex, David Bowie, the ever great and oh so hard to categorise Queen, and newer groups like The Ark as well... Trouble is, I don't have the build or face to be glam. I've always been destined for a more hippie style. There's no way I'm getting rid of this beard, for instance.

But yes, I'm wearing black nail polish at the moment. I put it on for Hallowe'en originally. And I found I liked it. Mostly, I guess, 'cause it's something new and different. Well, new for me, leastways. I don't know if it looks cool or just silly on a guy like me. But honestly, that's not the point, is it? This is something I needed to do at this point. Simple as that.

I'd like to try other colours as well. It's harder for guys to find shades that suit them, though. White might be interesting. Perhaps a very dark shade of green? It's hard to say without trying...

One Oh Oh

This is blog post number 100.

The vast majority of these posts have been made since last March when I adopted Blogger.com to power my blog section. I'd never have been posting so actively without it. Writing the posts themselves wouldn't be that hard, but a large number of casual posts without a decent archiving and categorisation system would be rather pointless.

I don't have a huge amount of readers. I'm not sure if anyone reads this on a regular basis. But then again, most blogs probably don't have many readers. That's not the point. I write as much for myself as I write for others.

So what is it all about? In the end, I guess it's just Me. Most of my posts are related to my hobbies: RPGs, video games, comics, music, even spirituality. There's no one clear theme, but patterns are beginning to emerge in the chaos. Sum it all up, and you'll begin to see what makes me tick. And it won't end here.

This Is What Comes Out of Being a Hippie Nerd

It's funny how very different, but equally geeky, interests sometimes come together. I spent a lot of time last weekend setting up an environment for producing PDF natal charts (i.e. horoscopes) with LaTeX.

The first step was to get Astrolog working on my Mac. Astrolog is an old, but powerful command line astrology tool. Because of its age, it doesn't work on Mac OS X out of the box. I had to manually compile it after making a few changes to the makefile and sources. Google was a big help in getting it to work. I had to leave out X support, but I can live without it.

Next I discovered a LaTeX package for typesetting nice looking wheel charts, called horoscop. I think I actually first run into it while googling for info on how to get Astrolog to work on a Mac. What's more, the package is made by Matt Skala, the author of Bonobo Conspiracy! It uses Astrolog (or alternately Swiss Ephemeris) to calculate data for the charts.

Of course there were more obstacles to overcome. To get the most out of horoscop, I needed to install a font for astrological symbols. Installing fonts for TeX, if you've never done it before, is not entirely unlike trying to reach Mt Doom through a maze of orc-infested mountains. It involves copying certain files into the right places, editing certain configs and running certain commands. The problem was finding the right places for the files and the right config to edit, but in the end I had a working font.

Now I could proceed to work on a LaTeX template to draw a good looking chart with all the information I want. This took a lot of tweaking and learning about the features of the package. I'm pretty happy with the version I have now.

Astrology is a fairly recent interest for me, I've only been looking into it since last spring, more or less. Honestly, I've barely gotten started, and I've got a long way to go before I'd try to interpret anyone's birth chart.

I find astrology fascinating. No, I don't really literally believe that arbitrary positions of distant rocks or balls of gas affect peoples' lives. Like with Tarot, the symbols communicate with one's subconscious. It's the process of interpretation that really counts, not what is interpreted. And of course it also gives me an excuse to satisfy the nerd in me by playing around with LaTeX and other cool software.

Idle Country Blogging

It's funny how the times change. Just a couple of years ago the idea of spending my vacation here in the country surfing the web, playing games and watching DVDs would have seemed utterly alien. Just two simple things, a laptop and an Internet connection, have entirely changed my way of life here.

While the change has it's blessings, it's not all for the best. Just as it is at home, it's much easier to procrastinate. Surfing the web and chatting with friends tricks the mind into thinking you're actually doing something. Starting new projects, whether creative work like writing or music, or something as simple as reading a novel, feels next to impossible.

It's not all technology's fault, though. The weather these past couple of days has been pretty bleak. Otherwise I might well have been sitting outside with a good book in hand, at least. I have this tradition of reading Hayao Miyazaki's comic Nausicaä of the Valley of Wind each summer while I'm up here in Nilsiä. It's my favourite comic book bar none, and even one of my favourite books in any form, graphic or prose. (The movie version, based on just the early parts of the comic, is much inferior.) The hammock is my favourite place to read here, although these days there seems to be a lack of really suitable places to hang one.

Summer & Fandom

A fairly active and social weekend for a change, instead of the usual stay at home watching movies and playing video games kind (even though I did manage to squeeze a couple of movies in as well). A summer picnic of the Finnish science fiction fandom scene on Saturday, which sort of spilled over into Sunday as well with unfinished Finnish Tolkien Society business to sort out. (Although the business part was quite brief in comparison to the museum visit and cafe chat session.) All in all a pretty enjoyable weekend. And the weather was just right as well, for the most part.

I've been an active member of the Finnish Tolkien Society since roughly the turn of the millennium. It's been a lot of fun and I've made lots of friends there. It's funny though that, while all the fantasy and SF organisations in such a small country are pretty familiar with each other, I don't really know that many people in Finnish fandom, outside the immediate circle of the Tolkien Society. Partly I guess it's cause I can be kind of shy and quiet when I'm in strange company. But mostly I guess it's cause I'm just too lazy to go to a lot of social gatherings.

I wouldn't quite call myself a recluse, but there's a bit of that in me. Many of my interests just aren't very social. I love nothing better than to just curl up on my sofa watching a good movie or playing a good video game. Of course I love seeing friends, but I just don't seem to have the energy to do that every weekend. Hell, I'm lucky to do it once a month even. And meeting strangers in strange circumstances... There was a time in my late teens, even early 20s, when that newly discovered 'scene' held a kind of wonder. But I've lost that fire at some point over the years since. And I'm not quite sure how to feel about that. Perhaps I'm just growing old.

Shop Till You Drop

So I finally got the money for my last translation job on Wednesday. What do you do when you get you first paycheck in six months? Go on a shopping spree, of course.

I was primarily looking for second hand copies of arcade games for PlayStation (1 or 2). Namely fighters, but keeping an eye out for shmups (shoot 'em ups for you laymen). Why arcade games should be obvious to anyone who's been reading this blog in recent weeks. The only decent game I found in the end was The King of Fighters XI. There are a couple new real must games out now too, the PS2 port of Silent Hill: Origins and Metal Gear Solid 4. I figured I should be careful with my money and only get one of them for now, and was really torn between which one. In the end I got the Silent Hill, partly because it was the cheaper of the two, partly because I've been having an itching to play Silent Hill recently. But obviously I'll have to get MGS4 before too long. A new MGS game is always a major event, and I'm a big fan of the series.

As many people know, I'm a huge Silent Hill fan, so a new game in the series is obviously a must play. Origins was originally made for the PSP, which I don't own, so I was really happy to hear a PS2 port had been released. I'm not entirely without doubts about the game, though, mostly because it has been made by a Western team. This, to me, is tantamount to sacrilege. But I've got to try to put my prejudices aside for a while and give it a shot.

Of course I also got a few DVDs, including a Resident Evil Trilogy box and a couple of seasons of Battlestar Galactica. A lot of people don't appreciate the Resident Evil movies a lot, some because they're not really faithful to the game franchise, some because they're, well, gory zombie movies. But I absolutely love them and find them very entertaining.

And now I'm wondering what the purpose of this post was, exactly. I guess I'm basically just making a statement about who I am and the kind of things I enjoy.

Progress

I finally got confirmation that my X-Arcade has shipped. This makes me happy. Now I'm just waiting to get to try it. Funny thing is, I don't remember if I've ever played a game, in a video game arcade, with these kind of controls. I never hung out much in arcades as a kid. Never really had money for it in the first place (when I did spend a few coins on games, it was mainly pinball). There was a time in my late teens (or early 20s even) when I frequented a local arcade with some school friends, but we mostly played air hockey. And occasionally pinball.

I hadn't yet acquired a taste for arcade video games back then. By the time I had, the video game arcades had pretty much vanished from the scene, apart from a few single machines at movie theaters and such. And I still rarely have coins to spare.

I also just finished translating a new book today. Which means I should be getting a bit of money soon. This also makes me happy. I've been translating drawing guides by Chris Hart into Finnish for about a year and a half now. Mostly they're manga drawing guides, but also one about dragons and one about fairies. (Which, personally, I think were the most interesting. The manga ones are targeted at a pretty specific audience.)

They're only small jobs, a week or two per book, and I only do them once every few months. But still, I love getting a bit of money now and then. Its these translation jobs that allowed me to get my MacBook, new telly, PS3, and even the X-Arcade. They certainly wouldn't be enough to support living on my own, not even enough to really be worth saving up for such a time. Anyways, my hobbies and passions are really important to me. I couldn't survive without them, and are worth blowing all my money on.

I should perhaps mention that, while I love manga and other comics, I don't draw myself. I was interested in it for a while, but soon discovered I had no natural talent for it, nor the patience to learn it.

Another Bit of Random Silliness, and Not so Silliness

Another title on the BBC news website. 'Is it time to reconsider GM food?'

Yes, definitely. Feed us poor GMs. We'll be much happier and have more energy for running games.

I've got a headache. I don't like it. And I've been stuffing myself all weekend with cake, crisps, chocolate and pork, and not feeling any better for it. Now I just want to get a nice cuppa and sit with my eyes closed for a moment, possibly whilst listening to some melancholy music. I like melancholy. Melancholy is nice. Not quite sad, certainly not depressing, just... beautiful, and just right for those moments when you don't have the energy to be peppy and cheerful.

Birthday Schmirthday

I really don't need to be any older. Not in my current life situation. No steady income, graduation dragging on and on, no way to live on my own, no relationship. If you look at my life, I should be maybe in my early twenties. But the universe seems to have other ideas. Yes, and of course there's the fact that I'm a lazy bum, but of course I can blame that on the universe as well. Oh, well.

I didn't get my X-Arcade for my birthday, even by magic (I've got a bone to pick with Hermes about that). They said it should be ready for shipping this week, but it's Friday now and I haven't received any confirmation about it. I sent them an email Tuesday night asking about its status, but they haven't answered yet, which is strange, as all my previous inquiries were answered quite promptly. They should be a reputable company, as they're the official X-Arcade retailer in the UK. So maybe they've had some unexpected disaster, illness or something. I really hope I hear from them soon. I honestly wouldn't mind delays, but I hate being left in the dark, especially when I've put a fairly large sum of money into this.

Edit: I emailed again to Gremlin Solutions about the X-Arcade. They replied and apologised for the delay, explaining that their guy in charge of mods had been off sick, and that they'd forgotten about a recent holiday in the UK. They also said they'd throw in a PlayStation 3 adapter for it, as an apology and a birthday present (I'd mentioned earlier that my birthday was coming up, as an incentive for them to ship it speedily). So I'm pretty happy about that. It should ship on Monday now, so hopefully I'll get it by the end of next week.

The really weird thing is, the thought that if it was delayed a lot they might throw in something as an apology, had crossed my mind, and I had thought that a PS3 adapter would be a pretty good choice if it came to that. (Maybe Hermes was on my side, after all, just not in his role as a speedy god but as the patron of commerce. And also thieves ;D.)

Getting Muddy

Nothing really to post about. Just don't want to look dead to any potential readers (not that I believe there really are any). The new Mudcrutch album is just out. In case you don't know, Mudcrutch was Tom Petty's band in the early 70s. They never got as far as making a record back then. They broke up, and half of them went on to form the Heartbreakers. Now they've reunited and made an album. And a pretty good one at that. If you like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, it's a sure bet that you'll like Mudcrutch. Many of the songs sound like they could be straight off of a Tom Petty album. Others are a touch more country.

Been reading a little Moorcock (Revenge of the Rose, an Elric story). It's been way too long since I've actually read a novel. That's the curse of the Internet. You spend so much time just staring blankly at a screen, feeling there's something you ought to be doing that's much better for you, and more fun...

Favourite song at the moment, Tim Minchin's Rock 'N' Roll Nerd. Some of the lyrics feel disturbingly familiar.

Too Old to Grow Up

Truer words than this were never uttered. (Wow, I'm actually commenting on something I found on the web, like in a real weblog.)

Since the comic strip may not be online forever, here's a summary:

Nemi: I've been press-ganged into looking after you, so you've got to eat your cabbage so you grow up to be big and strong!
Kid: Not before you give me one advantage to growing up!
(Nemi thinks, then tosses the cabbage away.)
Nemi: Get out the jelly beans!

Though, frankly, the last thing I want to think about right now is sweets. My snacking habit has been getting a little too wild lately. Time to turn a new leaf and start living healthily... uh, yeah, right.

Right now I'm working my way chronologically through all of Tom Petty's albums (I've been a big fan of his for a long time). I'm up to Southern Accents (1985). And my hands smell of rosemary...

Interior Decorating

No updates, just rambling this time. I recently moved into a new room. My old room looked rather, um, teenaged, with walls full of posters. I'm trying to decorate my new room with a little more elegance, but still true to my inner geekness. I'm buying new posters, but only one or two per wall (I don't want to clutter them up). I'm also placing the posters in glass clip frames, which looks a heck of a lot more elegant than lots of posters just stuck to the walls. The main motif is apparently going to be female manga characters, and mostly work from Masamune Shirow. I'd really love to have one or two posters of old video games, but they might be too hard to find.